Empty Spaces.

Two weeks. Approximately. The amount of time that has passed since the start of college. My first year as a second year. Not much has changed. Classes have gone on as usual. 

The hustle and bustle of hall and inter collegiate events haven't entered the picture yet. The calm before a storm of opportunities and passion. It feels unsettling. 

My mind was prepared for the chaos that I will soon welcome into my life. 

I haven't learned much of German other than what I consider to be important words which might not be considered as such by the general public. Basic Tamil, we have no more classes as such. I miss the tamil poetry. But I haven't stopped terrorising my friends with my broken tamil.

Whether it be a broken rendition of the viral "oru cow, athavathu oru madhu" or just the most disastrous grammatical errors, I find joy in it as I am slowly improving. Hunching over laughing at the most absurd things we make out to be funny during classes and outside it, my friends' laughs stay just as loud.  Maybe a little muffled when we get the glare of a professor. 

Two chicken rolls, some other snacks, happy and frooti, the order remains the same for all the breaks so far. 

I went the famed cafe "Deats" finally and what can say except the watermelon drink served there can quench the hundred year thirst of a man. Coloured pinkish red, served in a mason jar, with a paper straw. I dream of it sometimes. 

Maybe I am exaggerating quite a bit there. All I really meant to say is, life is mundane so far and just as I will welcome the chaos about to unfold, I will appreciate these moments of peace. 

Of sitting on my bed while still being up to date on all my class readings. Of eating countless pistachios, dumping countless yellowed shells in the dustbin. Of staying hydrating and sleeping on time. 

A routine. As much as I hated the constant routine of waking up on the same time every day and doing essentially the same things, my body was used to it. It misses having the spaces filled out. 

This reminds me of the concept of empty spaces, Umberto Eco had shared in an interview. He called them interstices. 

"Say you are coming over to my place. You are in an elevator and while you are coming up, I am waiting for you. This is an interstice, an empty space. I work in empty spaces."

I have found a routine now, the uncomfortable feeling I had has vanished... only to be replaced by the need to do something spontaneous. Human wants have no end, do they? 

I have aimed for the ideal self, some productivity routine, staying on top of the list. To be able to work in these empty spaces. 

This is an empty space. I am working in it as I write this. 

While I am all for being efficient, being is enough. To let empty spaces, be empty spaces. To breathe. 

It's a balance, and I am trying to find it. So far however, these empty spaces linger still in my routine. I work and I don't, the anxiousness stays. 

I will figure it out, I think. Maybe even update this blog with a solution or a realization. Until then, what do you do with your interstices?