I don't feel it, but I do it anyway. It’s not about how I feel anymore. I just have to do it, day in, day out, no breaks. The heaviness, the sense of being overwhelmed – is this what adulthood is? It’s strange how everything can be both blurry and clear at the same time. There’s so much to handle, maybe too much, but you still wash the dishes, you eat, you sit.
Nothing ever goes as planned. Even when things work out, there’s always something off. It’s not like things ever went perfectly before, but now it feels like everything is broken, and all you can do is either brace yourself or just let it be. There’s a space where you allow things to unfold for just a moment, and in that space, there’s the possibility of change.
But I’m learning how to breathe through it. I’m trying to find my way, even when it feels like I’m drowning in the never-ending tasks. Even when things don’t go as expected, I’m still here, doing what needs to be done. And in that, there’s something. I keep going, learning to exist within whatever this is.
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